Please take a few moments to read the following.

If you want to contact me, please use e-mail, not snail mail. Because you'll have to send letters via the book publisher, and I won't get them for five or six months - or even longer. I've had letters forwarded to me a whole year late. I don't know why publishers can't forward mail promptly, because it's only the price of an airmail stamp, but they just don't. But if you 're absolutely set on sending one, be prepared for a very long wait, and don't waste your money on a stamped self-addressed envelope - your USPS stamp won't be valid in the UK. If you want an autograph, it's best to e-mail me and give me your street address.

I try to read and reply to all mail I receive, but sometimes it's just not possible; I'm frequently out of the country, and I don't have any minions (not even evil henchmen) to do my bidding. It's just me running this business.  What follows is information to save your time as well as mine.

If you just want to say hi, then please do - don't feel obliged to rack your brains and compose something long and worthy. I'm not awarding marks here. Hi is just fine. And I know some people are deeply affected by the books and want to tell me about it but wonder if I'll think they're daft. No, I won't think that at all. If you want to tell me, I want to hear. I really do.

But if you're asking for information, please pause and look through the FAQs page first to see if your question is already answered, because 90% of specific questions I'm asked are covered pretty fully there . The reason I have an FAQ page is because it does what says on the tin - they're questions that people frequently ask, and answering the same question several thousand times a year eats many hours of writing time that I just can't spare. So I've given you FAQ answers that are actually in more depth than the individual ones you'd get from me.

General guidance - my apologies, but the following are no-go areas :

1. Please don't send me story ideas of any kind or fan fiction about anything - I can't even look at any of it for legal reasons. I have to delete it unread.

2. I can't give you individual advice on writing - all the information I can give you is already on this site, in FAQs, Writers' Stuff, and other pages, or on my blog. Besides, if my advice was any good, I'd have to bill you for it, and it wouldn't be cheap, believe me.  (And again, there are legal issues if you show me your unpublished work.) If you want a professional book/script doctor to look at your manuscript, though, contact John Jarrold.   He really knows his stuff. And yes, you have to pay for the service, but you get what you pay for.

3. I can't help you with school or college projects - sorry, folks, I just don't have enough hours in the day to do it.

Okay...if you're not after items 1, 2, or 3 above, contact me via this link .